One of Nigeria’s favorite holidays is finally here. And yes, we are referring to Christmas. So if you still see men wearing them white beard with legs kicking, Christmas lights hanging in the streets, and fat rising all around you, maybe you should relocate.
While Christmas Day may bring us food and a marked improvement in food supply, the holiday also brings out different personalities for Nigerians.
Here are ten types of Nigerians you are likely to see at Christmas:
You don’t dare joke with these people about using Christmas. Unlike some who see Christmas as a time to bond and celebrate, foodies see Christmas as an opportunity to enjoy a delicious plate of yam and egusi soup or choose different food options.
For these people, Christmas means only three words: lots of food.
Unofficial shipping agents
There is a tradition in Nigeria where, on Christmas day, people send food to family, friends and neighbors.
Instead of enlisting the service of delivery agents, many mothers in Nigeria turn their children into couriers. Whether it’s Mama Biliki’s house a kilometer away or Iya Sunday’s house two bus stops away, these people have to carry baskets of Jollof rice and soda, go to each one’s house and say, “Hello, said Mama. I should give you this.”
If they are lucky, they might pay with a thank you note or a N100 note.
Christmas means nothing to these people. For them, Christmas is like any other day. So don’t be disappointed when they show up at their apartment and ask if it’s Christmas Day.
At least they try to be carefree for Christmas, but for this category of people, Christmas is the best day to sleep.
Some people can spend all day buried in a blanket and snoring the lyrics to “Silent Night.”
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We all have that neighbor or family member who has made it an annual habit to spend every Christmas. When you hear the doorbell, you’ll know right away that it’s Aunty Ngozi or Brother Yemolee.
It’s almost as if these people don’t have their own house, because you would see them jumping from one house to another. No wonder they carry a lot of nylon carry-on bags.
Frankly, there should be a policy against working on Christmas Day. Also referred to as “Awon, I have a deadline to meet,” you can find these people typing away on their laptops or in their shops, doing a business transaction.
They say time is money, so if they sit still and choose to enjoy Christmas Day, they lose a lot of money.
The best way to lose interest in Christmas is to talk to these people. By the time they explain how the holidays have decimated people and how capitalists use them as a way to manipulate you into spending money, you’ll start to hate red and white, Christmas trees, and anyone who looks like Santa Claus.
A common slogan in this category is “You Only Live Once” (YOLO). Staying at home during Christmas is a big no-no for them. You can always find them where the party is, even if it’s a 10 hour drive.
Christmas is like a side hustle for these people. Forget rice and chicken; these guys are all about the money.
The holidays are when they start collecting money and gifts from aunts, uncles, grandmothers, friends, etc.
Don’t be surprised when you wake up at 3am and find these people happily singing Feliz Navidad while you prepare the day’s meals.
It’s almost like Christmas is a second birthday, because the excitement around them is contagious.
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